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Jun 26Liked by Jonathan Fields

When I was nine years-old, I played Wendy Darling in the 4th grade production of Peter Pan at PS 41 in Greenwich Village. I remember jumped from the stage with my umbrella and really thinking I could fly.

If I were to bring a sliver of that back, I would let myself be seen more again. Still be considerate, but not at the cost of hiding myself.

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As a parent of a kid raised in NYC, just got such a fun pic of you at PS 41!

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That is awesome. It was a great school when I went there! I have photos of me with the T-shirt I got at the fifth grade prom. It went down to my knees. Now it is a fitted T-shirt that I wear all the time. Somehow I held onto it.

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I love this so much, Jonathan, thank you: "I’d rather be uncomfortably alive, than comfortably numb."

When I was 9, I felt unapologetically free, riding around on my Banana Bike. The world was not simple, I knew, but riding along, fast and slow, into new and old neighbourhoods, on my own, and sometimes with my brother, I felt free. So free. Now, almost 50 years later, I am starting to feel that unapologetic freedom again, crafting a life of my own, uncomfortably alive, not comfortably numb. <3

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Ah, bringing back memories of my Schwinn Stingray bike with chopper handlebars and banana seat!

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I was a mini Madonna at 9 riding around on a bike with my lace gloves and lace headbands hoping to get the attention of local boys. And I spent a lot of time on the swingset or hammock listening to music and dreaming.

I’m content with life now in a way I was then, but I wasn’t for decades. When I’m being my most authentic self I am that little girl again, dreaming life away, and I guess now at 50 it’s because I really have realised that I should just be myself.

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Funny how long it often takes us to remember who we've always been, then inhabit that person. But, once we do, look out world!

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Being in my fifties has been amazing so far. My children are growing up and I am like, Oh, yeah... this is me. This is my life.

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This is it! Loving that 9-year old in all the ways she was quirky, alive, made mistakes and worried even back then. God she was cute. And so caring for all animals and insects. She loved to ride her bike, no helmet and dance. She loved to write. Write, write, write!

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"The child is grown"

Maybe this is wonderful. The child I once was grew with me. They are still there. They make part of me. They come to play whenever we laugh or we sing. We didn't leave the child behind. We hold their hand and bring them with us thru our lives.

"The dream is gone"

Perhaps that dream is no more. It made sense at that time. However now there is another dream. Tomorrow a dream anew. Today my dreams have shifted. No more the dream of an individual somewhere off in a distant endless future... I am much more aware of the finality of myself so I see the dreams evolving thru the relationships with others.

Thank u as always Jonathan for the prompt for reflection.

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Nice reframe!

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I love this viewpoint. I agree we grew into who we are now and yes, my dreams have altered along the way too. Honestly I’m not sure what my dreams were at 9. That makes me a little sad

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I don't know if you are taking about my life. Maybe we should look back in those days. I'd rather not. I can't change my life and lose another family and I'm grateful for Jesus Christ coming in my life.. I'm writing a book and it's an my my. Nothing is going to be built in lies. 40 plus year's should have been left behind. How is life going with your family. I don't have any family members left.

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In looking back I am aware of the sense of movement and inquiry. I wanted to know and understand everything, move, laugh and be loud. And then take those experiences and create, put the interpretation down in words and images. Stand confronting the chaos of my childhood and revolt against it by making something beautiful.

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I'll leave it alone for now. I'm not looking back anymore. I have an old friend who I didn't treat good at all. I was on drugs back in the 80s how about you? I'm going to try to square things honestly with one individual.

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