So much to say on this, Jonathan. I’m actually at my dad’s place right now, He has Alzheimer’s and I visit and cook for him every other day. My sister alternates with me. He’s playing piano right now, so I’m going to try to pay attention to him, but this missing if moments and the wish ( and plea) for folks to look up and notice, is what I often write about.
This not looking up makes it so hard to meet people, too.
I love this story of the uber driver. Honest and touching and a salient little tap on the shoulder for all of us.
I try to always keep in mind that I have the potential to either ruin somoene's day (with rudeness) or make someone's day (with kindness). Little compliments can make all the difference, especially when someone's having a rough day.
On a walk with two friends today, we happened upon a small group of individuals peering out on the lake with what looked like fancy cameras. Though we were engaged in conversation, we became quite curious and decided to inquire. This delighted the group as they told us about their annual effort to count the Canadian geese on this lake as part of their involvement with the Nat'l Audubon Society. They invited us to view the geese and ducks through their spotting scopes and shared about how they got first got involved. It was inspiring to hear their joy as they shared...and it flavored how we looked at the day.
Everyone is fascinating if we take the time to notice them. In a time when the epidemic of loneliness is increasing, even a short warm greeting makes a difference. Here's to more micro-gestures!
This year I’ve found myself searching for micro moments. Maybe it’s because River and I wound up in a town we never expected to be and I’m searching for connection. Any connection.
But my practice started last year at Xmas when I purposely didn’t pull my phone out while standing in line at the grocery store. I still forget to keep it tucked away lots, but it’s a great practice to be stuck in line with strangers and ample opportunity to micro dose. I highly recommend.
So get that, Julia. Landing in a new place can raise the stakes to seek connection. We experienced that moving from NYC to Boulder 4 years ago. Love the simple act of keeping your phone down when in line at the grocery store.
We always talk to our Uber drivers, grocery clerks, waitpeople, etc, sorry. It's just, people in the service community...I did it as a college kid, and when someone acted like I was there, I appreciated it. But he was cool, probably b/c he was older and had been through hell and back no doubt, and he understood the wisdom of solitude. Also early a.m. is different than mid-afternoon, evening. I offer a hello--and take it from there. We are all such fragile beings, we humans, and thank the gods, we're not yet (all) Bots.
The guy who brought our meal to our table this morning...I held his gaze for a few moments longer than necessary. I said thanks so much, we appreciate you. I saw his eyes light up and he held my gaze, too. Our eyes smiles at each other for a few delightful heartbeats. Now I have a term for it: a micro-dose of intentionall attention. Yay!
Reminds me of today while at a stopover on a road trip I was in a bathroom line up. I decided to ask a lady which way was she heading, from the city or to the city ? We had a quick 2-3 minute conversation on her travels and family - I could easily have been too consumed with my need for that bathroom call, instead i decided to say hi and ask my question. Thanks for your always insightful and thoughtful message.
“Most mornings, I’m out of bed in the sixes, but I’m dragging a bit today. And, as a general principle, I do not people until after nine. Not fit for human consumption. Especially without coffee”. I get it, because I’m like this. But, to not have to “people” until after nine is a luxury that full-time carers often don’t have. It requires even greater effort to give micro doses of attention (the value of which I agree with) when you haven’t properly woken up. It is easy to feel guilty over shortcomings in this area.
Totally agree, Nicola. It is a luxury. I remember when our daughter was little as we effectively had zero control over our time, especially in the early mornings. There are seasons for everything.
So much to say on this, Jonathan. I’m actually at my dad’s place right now, He has Alzheimer’s and I visit and cook for him every other day. My sister alternates with me. He’s playing piano right now, so I’m going to try to pay attention to him, but this missing if moments and the wish ( and plea) for folks to look up and notice, is what I often write about.
This not looking up makes it so hard to meet people, too.
I love this story of the uber driver. Honest and touching and a salient little tap on the shoulder for all of us.
Hoping you enjoy every minute with your dad, Gayle!
Thank you! I feel pretty grateful for this time.
I try to always keep in mind that I have the potential to either ruin somoene's day (with rudeness) or make someone's day (with kindness). Little compliments can make all the difference, especially when someone's having a rough day.
I hear that, Chris. And often, it's not even that there's an intention in our behavior, we're just not entirely tuned in to those around us.
Well said!
Great story. It's true, people matter. And there's always a story. Thanks for the reminder. Need more micro-dosing attention!
Glad the reminded helped, Rex.
Thanks for sharing the Uber story.
On a walk with two friends today, we happened upon a small group of individuals peering out on the lake with what looked like fancy cameras. Though we were engaged in conversation, we became quite curious and decided to inquire. This delighted the group as they told us about their annual effort to count the Canadian geese on this lake as part of their involvement with the Nat'l Audubon Society. They invited us to view the geese and ducks through their spotting scopes and shared about how they got first got involved. It was inspiring to hear their joy as they shared...and it flavored how we looked at the day.
Everyone is fascinating if we take the time to notice them. In a time when the epidemic of loneliness is increasing, even a short warm greeting makes a difference. Here's to more micro-gestures!
Love this story, Tammy. Thanks for sharing!
Oh I feel this so much JF.
This year I’ve found myself searching for micro moments. Maybe it’s because River and I wound up in a town we never expected to be and I’m searching for connection. Any connection.
But my practice started last year at Xmas when I purposely didn’t pull my phone out while standing in line at the grocery store. I still forget to keep it tucked away lots, but it’s a great practice to be stuck in line with strangers and ample opportunity to micro dose. I highly recommend.
So get that, Julia. Landing in a new place can raise the stakes to seek connection. We experienced that moving from NYC to Boulder 4 years ago. Love the simple act of keeping your phone down when in line at the grocery store.
We always talk to our Uber drivers, grocery clerks, waitpeople, etc, sorry. It's just, people in the service community...I did it as a college kid, and when someone acted like I was there, I appreciated it. But he was cool, probably b/c he was older and had been through hell and back no doubt, and he understood the wisdom of solitude. Also early a.m. is different than mid-afternoon, evening. I offer a hello--and take it from there. We are all such fragile beings, we humans, and thank the gods, we're not yet (all) Bots.
Great point, Jeanine. I think being on the other side of the dynamic can be a great reminder of how much it matters.
The guy who brought our meal to our table this morning...I held his gaze for a few moments longer than necessary. I said thanks so much, we appreciate you. I saw his eyes light up and he held my gaze, too. Our eyes smiles at each other for a few delightful heartbeats. Now I have a term for it: a micro-dose of intentionall attention. Yay!
Love it, Angie! Tiny moment, big impact.
Reminds me of today while at a stopover on a road trip I was in a bathroom line up. I decided to ask a lady which way was she heading, from the city or to the city ? We had a quick 2-3 minute conversation on her travels and family - I could easily have been too consumed with my need for that bathroom call, instead i decided to say hi and ask my question. Thanks for your always insightful and thoughtful message.
Great example, Heather. There are so many moments when we just open ourselves to them.
Hiding in the doing … avoiding the seeing .. that’s something I resonate with 🙏🏻
Always a dance, Niomi. Especially when you're introverted (like me), and spend a lot of time in your mind.
“Most mornings, I’m out of bed in the sixes, but I’m dragging a bit today. And, as a general principle, I do not people until after nine. Not fit for human consumption. Especially without coffee”. I get it, because I’m like this. But, to not have to “people” until after nine is a luxury that full-time carers often don’t have. It requires even greater effort to give micro doses of attention (the value of which I agree with) when you haven’t properly woken up. It is easy to feel guilty over shortcomings in this area.
Ah, you said “someone you might not normally see”. I obviously hadn’t woken up properly and was having a gentle rant 😊
Totally agree, Nicola. It is a luxury. I remember when our daughter was little as we effectively had zero control over our time, especially in the early mornings. There are seasons for everything.
A good way of thinking about it ...