I really like this piece about taking risks, Jonathan! And it is very assuring to read that there is a scientific explanation for those absolutely insane stunts we did as 16 year olds… ;-)
For some of us it might already be enough to take very little steps out of our comfort zone. An executive coach once told me to wear two differently colored socks to the office one day. Probably not even worth a thought for some, it was a daunting task for me. For the risk averse, taking mini-risks every day, can really help - and there is no doubt that growth and personal development awaits outside your red line…
The home education market is pretty niche without narrowing it further to half the book being about pilgrimage, but where would the risk be if I aimed for the status quo?
Fascinating topic. I was talking this week on similar to a coaching client. We brainstormed a term we called "cheer or jeer". It's whether we anticipate a cheer outcome or a jeer response. My lived example is enjoying public speaking (mostly) but am terrified of karaoke. Yet they are almost the same thing. Both have risk and push u into the discomfort zone but one is a buzz and one is a fear. However, there was a difference this last summer on a visit to the Abba museum in Stockholm. I sang with my daughter. Her support, joy and enthusiasm helped me overcome my apprehension (aka terror!). The reward of sharing a song together, priceless.
Thank you for defining this process clearly for me. I seem to have naturally learned the three steps by virtue of the early failures. What i find as I age is that the risk lessens for most challenges as there are lower stakes. I am not so ego sensitive anymore so failing is not a big problem. My challenge to myself is around worthiness and I face this regularly as I move thru my projects. Stakes seem to be challenging my internal world rather than the external.
On the other hand, I would say that any venture that risks money or life and limb become a non starter as there is no real chance of recovery at this stage.
Interesting how we each asses risk differently. I'm more likley to risk money or even physical harm than risk embarrassment or risk letting people down. Too weak to risk cracking my fragile ego !
But I agree... as I age I am somewhat less ego sensitive
I like these steps to assess. For myself, I have to add in my tendency for compulsive choice. I call it passion and creativity in the light. For me- choosing too many good risks results in depletion and not mastering a few. Just me?
Love this piece on risk. Could totalky identify with it as my husband and I have taken a big risk by selling up last year. Got rid of most of our stuff and are now touring Britain and Europe in our motorhome. We spent a good year or more weighing uo the risks and advantages of this step and decided it was worth it. The probability of succes is high, as long as we define success as getting out of a rud and feeling alive again. Recoverability is a total unknown. If it all goes belly up, don't know what we'd do,but we both have total trust that it will work out somehow. It is what you make of it at the end of the day.
Somewhere in stakes, probability, and recoverability (I think one of the first two), there's also a question of "What's the risk of NOT doing the thin?". What's the risk of not leaving the relationship, not leaving the job, not running towards the scary thing? There's no risk to not roof riding (though 16-year-olds might say, "We risk our chance to have fun"), but there IS risk in remaining stagnant.
They say that kids are fearless and grow out of that. I was a timid kid - afraid of negative consequences - and only got braver as an adult when I learned about the likelihood of consequences. (It was like parental warnings of, "If you do X you'll die," but my internal parent, and now I know that I'm unlikely to die from X and doing X is fun, character-building or life-changing.)
If you have to do a pro con list to decide if you want to do something, then it’s a ‘no’. Deciding what to do is a matter of gut instinct, interest, a spark, and a feeling of knowing. However, deciding how to do something - that’s a whole other matter! That sometimes does require research and data especially if there’s money or business involved.
Dear Jonathan, thank you for your writing, again. Each time you write exactly what I need.
My big question is whether I should quit my job and perhaps even profession. I am very risk averse and the thought about it already kept me awake many nights. It took me 25 years to get here… I will journal about the stakes, probabilities and recoverability of both quitting and not quitting and I’m sure it will give me much more clarity 🙏🙏🙏
I was actually very risk averse as a kid! If it could potentially get me hurt, embarrassed, in trouble, or even simply if there was a high risk of a question I wanted answered with a yes would be a no, I didn't do it. I often think I missed out on a lot of essential "growing up" things because what people thought of me & how happy they were with me felt so important.
So I let my 8 year old teach me how to skateboard & now I'm learning to surf. I sometimes have scrapes & bruises & have definitely been embarrassed in front of other adults but that's okay.
These days my risk aversion has to do with spending money & not always because it isn't there, but just because I'm too afraid to let it go. Thankfully, my husband is not that way & I still have the chance for many fun things because he helps me evaluate risk more reasonably.
My risk set point is pretty low these days. I have just recently felt like I can exhale after years and years of hustling. This is true professionally, emotionally, and in my closest relationships. I want to lay in the fields and enjoy a season or two of ease before I venture back out into the risk pool. Is that too much to ask?
I really like this piece about taking risks, Jonathan! And it is very assuring to read that there is a scientific explanation for those absolutely insane stunts we did as 16 year olds… ;-)
For some of us it might already be enough to take very little steps out of our comfort zone. An executive coach once told me to wear two differently colored socks to the office one day. Probably not even worth a thought for some, it was a daunting task for me. For the risk averse, taking mini-risks every day, can really help - and there is no doubt that growth and personal development awaits outside your red line…
Such an important point, stakes are entirely subjective. What seems insignificant for one person might feel monumental to another.
I’ll let you know how writing the book with no pre-established audience goes - I’m in the middle of it right now!!
Been there, ya just never know!
The home education market is pretty niche without narrowing it further to half the book being about pilgrimage, but where would the risk be if I aimed for the status quo?
Fascinating topic. I was talking this week on similar to a coaching client. We brainstormed a term we called "cheer or jeer". It's whether we anticipate a cheer outcome or a jeer response. My lived example is enjoying public speaking (mostly) but am terrified of karaoke. Yet they are almost the same thing. Both have risk and push u into the discomfort zone but one is a buzz and one is a fear. However, there was a difference this last summer on a visit to the Abba museum in Stockholm. I sang with my daughter. Her support, joy and enthusiasm helped me overcome my apprehension (aka terror!). The reward of sharing a song together, priceless.
My learning...when taking a risk, find support.
ah, love that. Being able to change the experience in such a beautiful and powerful way.
Thank you for defining this process clearly for me. I seem to have naturally learned the three steps by virtue of the early failures. What i find as I age is that the risk lessens for most challenges as there are lower stakes. I am not so ego sensitive anymore so failing is not a big problem. My challenge to myself is around worthiness and I face this regularly as I move thru my projects. Stakes seem to be challenging my internal world rather than the external.
On the other hand, I would say that any venture that risks money or life and limb become a non starter as there is no real chance of recovery at this stage.
So interesting, love your reflection on the shifting nature of stakes as we age.
Interesting how we each asses risk differently. I'm more likley to risk money or even physical harm than risk embarrassment or risk letting people down. Too weak to risk cracking my fragile ego !
But I agree... as I age I am somewhat less ego sensitive
I like these steps to assess. For myself, I have to add in my tendency for compulsive choice. I call it passion and creativity in the light. For me- choosing too many good risks results in depletion and not mastering a few. Just me?
I hear that, aligns well with my "fewer things better" mantra.
Love this piece on risk. Could totalky identify with it as my husband and I have taken a big risk by selling up last year. Got rid of most of our stuff and are now touring Britain and Europe in our motorhome. We spent a good year or more weighing uo the risks and advantages of this step and decided it was worth it. The probability of succes is high, as long as we define success as getting out of a rud and feeling alive again. Recoverability is a total unknown. If it all goes belly up, don't know what we'd do,but we both have total trust that it will work out somehow. It is what you make of it at the end of the day.
Ah, such a cool adventure. Excited to follow along and hear how it all unfolds. Either way, there'll be great stories.
Somewhere in stakes, probability, and recoverability (I think one of the first two), there's also a question of "What's the risk of NOT doing the thin?". What's the risk of not leaving the relationship, not leaving the job, not running towards the scary thing? There's no risk to not roof riding (though 16-year-olds might say, "We risk our chance to have fun"), but there IS risk in remaining stagnant.
They say that kids are fearless and grow out of that. I was a timid kid - afraid of negative consequences - and only got braver as an adult when I learned about the likelihood of consequences. (It was like parental warnings of, "If you do X you'll die," but my internal parent, and now I know that I'm unlikely to die from X and doing X is fun, character-building or life-changing.)
If you have to do a pro con list to decide if you want to do something, then it’s a ‘no’. Deciding what to do is a matter of gut instinct, interest, a spark, and a feeling of knowing. However, deciding how to do something - that’s a whole other matter! That sometimes does require research and data especially if there’s money or business involved.
Dear Jonathan, thank you for your writing, again. Each time you write exactly what I need.
My big question is whether I should quit my job and perhaps even profession. I am very risk averse and the thought about it already kept me awake many nights. It took me 25 years to get here… I will journal about the stakes, probabilities and recoverability of both quitting and not quitting and I’m sure it will give me much more clarity 🙏🙏🙏
I was actually very risk averse as a kid! If it could potentially get me hurt, embarrassed, in trouble, or even simply if there was a high risk of a question I wanted answered with a yes would be a no, I didn't do it. I often think I missed out on a lot of essential "growing up" things because what people thought of me & how happy they were with me felt so important.
So I let my 8 year old teach me how to skateboard & now I'm learning to surf. I sometimes have scrapes & bruises & have definitely been embarrassed in front of other adults but that's okay.
These days my risk aversion has to do with spending money & not always because it isn't there, but just because I'm too afraid to let it go. Thankfully, my husband is not that way & I still have the chance for many fun things because he helps me evaluate risk more reasonably.
My risk set point is pretty low these days. I have just recently felt like I can exhale after years and years of hustling. This is true professionally, emotionally, and in my closest relationships. I want to lay in the fields and enjoy a season or two of ease before I venture back out into the risk pool. Is that too much to ask?