Hell, maybe.

Wake-Up Call #15

It’s become vogue to tell everyone your new mantra is…

“Unless it’s a ‘hell yes,’ it’s a ‘hell no!’”

Sounds awesome.

I’m only saying yes to the things that are a “hell, yes,” not just an ordinary yes or even a “well, that sounds interesting, but I’m not entirely sure.”

Powerful rally cry!

It’s a whole-hearted rejection of anything and everything that smacks of the potential for a middle-of-the-road relationships, work, adventures, and life.

It’s all about the embrace of profound aligned action and the pursuit of all-in joy and purpose and passion.

Except…

It’s a lie.

Because, there’s the proclamation of the “hell, yes” life, then there’s reality.

And, reality is that, if we do tune in to that deeper, more intuitive voice, the one that’s often been there, but buried since our awakening to the desire to fit in kicked in, what that voice most often tells us with real clarity is not when to say “hell, yes” but, rather, when to say “hell, no.”

Our bodies, and less-than-conscious brains, are pretty good at identifying and keeping us from toxins, sometimes manifesting as suspect people, dangerous experiences, bad products or funky projects.

Granted, most of us have become so disembodied and disconnected from that deeper offering of physiological and intuitive data that we miss it. But, it’s there. And, at least in my experience, when I look for it and invite it in, it’s fiercely-accurate in telling me what to walk away from.

But, it’s far more impaired when it comes to telling me what to say “hell, yes” to.

Three reasons.

1.

Many an immediate “hell, yes” is driven by hedonic impulse, not harmonious intent.

Put another way, it’s the instant dopaminergic, neuro-chemical hit we’re feeling and craving more of, not the longer-term sustained effect of action aligned with essence, that deludes us into thinking something is a “hell, yes,” when in reality it should be a “run like hell.” This mistranslation happens constantly and all-too-often leads to “hell, yes” for a hot minute, then living-hell until we awaken to, and act upon, the fact that we’ve read our own signals wrong.

2.

Many a lifelong “hell, yes” begins with a “well, maybe.”

Explored, held gently without grasping, tended with openness and intention over time an opportunity that begins as a mere curiosity blossoms into an orchard of “hell, yes,” bearing fruit that sustains for seasons, lifetimes, sometimes even generations. But, it doesn’t start that way.

It begins, instead, with an invitation to explore. One that would’ve been rejected out-of-hand had the “hell, yes” standard have been applied to the opening-move. By demanding that everything we invest our energies in MUST be a “hell, yes” on day one, we foreclose the possibility of so many deep, life-nourishing relationships and experiences that only reveal the depth of their potential through the investment of energy, and the passing of time.

1.

Many a valid “hell, yes” is masked by fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of being outcast. Fear of loss of power, prestige, position, prosperity and people. What should, in fact, be a “hell, yes” appears as an “I don’t know” or even “hell, no.” Not because it should, but because we’re terrified of what might happen should we put resources behind it and then fail. However will we explain that on Insta?!

Rather than tell ourselves it’s a “hell, yes” but we’re afraid to do anything about it, our brains protect us from the potential assault to our need for safety and ego preservation by tricking us into believing it’s not actually the “hell, yes” that it could or should be.

This delusion releases us from the obligation to do anything about it. But, it also keeps us from the possibility that lies only at the feet of action.

So, when it comes to deciding whether and when to get on the “hell, yes” train, maybe go a level deeper than the platitudes and really think about and feel into what the deeper, more complex and nuanced truth is.

Many of the greatest, deepest, most transformative and enduring relationships, experiences, adventures, and awakenings in my life began as “well, maybes,” then grew into “this changed me,” and settled into, “please, don’t ever end.”

With a whole lotta love & gratitude,

Jonathan

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Wake-Up Call #15

Think about something you’ve been considering, where you’re on the fence. You can see it’s potential, but it’s not quite a “hell, yes” or a “heck, no.” It’s a “well, maybe.”

Rather than taking that as a sign to walk-away, ask yourself what low-risk first-steps you might take to gather more information, more lived experience that’d let you know more about the true potential of this possibility.

Run the experiment to see if it grows in interest, or fades. If you want, put a time limit on it, so as not to feel like you’re missing out on other moments of awesomeness.

And, maybe think back a bit. Note any relationships, activities or adventures that began with curiosity, but caution, then became the foundations of some of the most amazing experiences and stories of your life.

Make room not just for the “hell, yeses” but also the “well, maybes.”

And, if you feel like it, share in the comments.