Holy cow.......I am absolutely floored. How could I not understand that on my own? I do this DAILY and I feel that conversations turn sour and I NEVER made the connection. I am really ashamed now. I was just so eager to CONNECT with that person....thinking that sharing would do that. It never did. I think I destroyed my social life at the office. This is going to change TODAY!!!! I am NEVER falling into that trap again.....I'd rather keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life and NOD.......when in an office setting. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.
Oh god yes, I've done this too. I suppose we all have at some point. Training ourselves to be better listeners, question-askers, and communicators is a life-long lesson. This was such a great piece and more excellent advice I didn't even know I needed.
Wonderful and extremely necessary reminder for developing good conversations. I often feel at the end of an interaction that I may have "hogged" the floor and not given others more of a space to share...especially people who are not quite as gregarious. Thinking about your answer while the other person is still speaking is often a fault of mine. A terrible excuse...but none the less part of the scenario...I often feel that I have a great thought and I am scared that I will forget it ....I suppose it isn't really the end of the world if I do ! Thanks for the wonderful reminder and advice. Most appreciated.
Fantastic advice that I need to be reminded of every so often. This post made me realize that I should practice it. Literally, practice - to improve and make it second nature.
Guilty 🫣, being socially awkward I always assumed this was the appropriate response as opposed to not saying anything or not participating, but I see now how I have unintentionally pushed people away.
so true. there seems to be a bit of empathy there - they have a story, you've experienced the same. and if it's a point of connection, it might work, rather than a one-up-manship which is not empathetic
Holy cow, so glad to see this today. Gave me big insight to someone who overrides every conversation that way and how it has driven a wedge between her relationships--including mine.
And yes, I experience what you mention by chatting too much and like your suggestions. I usually take the 1,2,3 tactic but not always in conversations. Time to implement something new!
Of anything I've ever read from you, Jonathan, this is my favorite! If everyone took it to heart (and I have a reminder bookmarked), what a different world it would be.
Holy cow.......I am absolutely floored. How could I not understand that on my own? I do this DAILY and I feel that conversations turn sour and I NEVER made the connection. I am really ashamed now. I was just so eager to CONNECT with that person....thinking that sharing would do that. It never did. I think I destroyed my social life at the office. This is going to change TODAY!!!! I am NEVER falling into that trap again.....I'd rather keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life and NOD.......when in an office setting. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.
You are spot on!
Oh god yes, I've done this too. I suppose we all have at some point. Training ourselves to be better listeners, question-askers, and communicators is a life-long lesson. This was such a great piece and more excellent advice I didn't even know I needed.
Wonderful and extremely necessary reminder for developing good conversations. I often feel at the end of an interaction that I may have "hogged" the floor and not given others more of a space to share...especially people who are not quite as gregarious. Thinking about your answer while the other person is still speaking is often a fault of mine. A terrible excuse...but none the less part of the scenario...I often feel that I have a great thought and I am scared that I will forget it ....I suppose it isn't really the end of the world if I do ! Thanks for the wonderful reminder and advice. Most appreciated.
Fantastic. My brother has master of this. I LOVE talking with him.
Fantastic advice that I need to be reminded of every so often. This post made me realize that I should practice it. Literally, practice - to improve and make it second nature.
good stuff
thats so beautiful, maybe my podcast could be an amazing add up on your article?
https://lisariesner.substack.com/p/chosen-the-king
Great advice🌸
Guilty 🫣, being socially awkward I always assumed this was the appropriate response as opposed to not saying anything or not participating, but I see now how I have unintentionally pushed people away.
How informative. I really can use this ! Thank You
so true. there seems to be a bit of empathy there - they have a story, you've experienced the same. and if it's a point of connection, it might work, rather than a one-up-manship which is not empathetic
Holy cow, so glad to see this today. Gave me big insight to someone who overrides every conversation that way and how it has driven a wedge between her relationships--including mine.
And yes, I experience what you mention by chatting too much and like your suggestions. I usually take the 1,2,3 tactic but not always in conversations. Time to implement something new!
Ask with interest,
ask some more, at least three times.
Add ours afterwards.
Love the nudge to do the three extending questions. And... can't wait for the summer series. #yay ;)
Of anything I've ever read from you, Jonathan, this is my favorite! If everyone took it to heart (and I have a reminder bookmarked), what a different world it would be.
Thank you :)