37 Comments
User's avatar
Heather Samson's avatar

For me it is the balance between using my “voice and choice” instead of going with what others decide for me. Learning this was crucial to continuing with my own inner work and I feel like in the last 5-6 years I’ve just been in a much better space !

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Love that frame, Heather. Voice and choice!

Expand full comment
Janine Hannis's avatar

Whoa. This really struck me. You were writing about me. I felt I could never show my true self, so always put on a persona when working or speaking in front of a large group. Always made jokes. I felt that nobody would want to see or hear from the authentic me. That was then. Then I turned 50 and didn't give a flying "f", then I turned 60 and REALLY didn't give a flying "f" of what anybody thought. Thank gawd for aging. ;-)

Expand full comment
Janet Davies's avatar

I was thinking the same thing. I remember when I was younger seeing older women act like they didn’t give a flying F. I wondered what that was really all about and I envied them, thinking I couldn’t have that until I was older. Now I think I’m getting it, and yeah, thank gawd for aging! Maybe could’ve started sooner though.

Expand full comment
Janine Hannis's avatar

Yes, I agree 100 percent :-) maybe our souls are not fully develped until our 50s...lol..

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

So glad it resonated, Janine. And, yep, age does work it's magic in this way lol!

Expand full comment
Jason Spatola's avatar

I'm in the midst of unpacking a lifetime of masks/personas so as to just be the authentic me. It's a struggle but one I feel well worth doing as it 'lightens the load' I carry.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Ah, Jason, So nice to see your name here! Been a minute. The older I get, the more I aspire to lighten the load I carry, too.

Expand full comment
Maghan Haggerty's avatar

“Inhale, I bellow, as my inner introvert goes full carny. “ oh I felt this! That moving to the other extreme so you can hide.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Right?!

Expand full comment
Christina Masterman's avatar

Thank you. Just so true…and maybe this also is a part of us to accept, notice, love and let be. Maybe our soul is not created to be on show as much as we may imagine. Stepping up into that role may just have taken every bit of courage in that moment that you could muster up.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Agreed, Christina, when it's a genuine part of ourselves. I think what I was feeling was more that I was donning a mask that was not just a different, more fortified but very real part of me, but rather a disguise.

Expand full comment
Sharon Norris's avatar

I was captivated at the start. Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece that sings a song of a soul who shies away from the light. Stepping forward as ourselves, uncloaked and unveiled, isn't work for the faint of heart. At what point do I end and my persona emerge? Something I'll be paying attention to after reading this story.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Uncloaked and unveiled is a great way to put it, Sharon. And such a great additional prompt, "At what point do I end and my persona emerge?"

Expand full comment
Gayle A Moir's avatar

I admire both “you”s.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Ah thanks, Gayle!

Expand full comment
from curiosity and wonder's avatar

Ah Jonathan, yes! Me too, me too. Love the words. Unfolding- yes.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Unfolding is one of my favorite words!

Expand full comment
Yvonne's avatar

I say be yourself. You can fool some people sometimes but sooner or later the masks, the façade must fall or will fall and people will see the real you. I don't like to be deceived and I much prefer for people to be their authentic self with their flaws (the good and the bad). than to find out that that person what not who she/ he pretended to be. It's very hurtful and dishonest. I also understand the why but I encourage people to be themselves. No need to guess. What you see is what you get. So refreshing! Thank you for sharing! Beautiful piece!

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Completely agree, Yvonne. Even when we have multiple selves. The invitation is often to try to discern whether we're just showing a different, but real part of ourselves, or whether we're wearing a mask as a way to hide.

Expand full comment
Cara Bradley's avatar

I have a feeling I was in the same room with the same teacher Jonathan. Heard similar feedback myself! I adore how you turn your experience as yoga teacher/biz owner into every day lessons. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Could well have been, Cara. Always fun sharing my experiences, and glad when they land with some level of value.

Expand full comment
Samantha G 🌻's avatar

I love this "less show, more soul", but yet we've been taught to show all of our lives, school systems, religious institutions, even in the family, we are taught/expected to show up strong, stoic, so much so that we lose our sense of vulnerability. A powerful reminder to return to ourselves 🙂

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

So true, Samantha. Show is a big part of how we're often taught to show up. And, again, there are times it serves us, but sometimes we confuse those times with simply wanting to hide. That was my case. Working on getting better at discerning them.

Expand full comment
Seema Nayyar Tewari's avatar

Beautifully written.

Until and unless I find out who the hell am I,?

A spiritual quest that has been dominant for centuries. I am quite happy not to have a stuck personality but to play the role any given situation demands. I can be this and that or that!

My core can remain a seeker! :)

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Thanks, Seema. Indeed, it is the quest of our lives.

Expand full comment
Emma Michell's avatar

This is so beautifully expressed. It really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

So glad you enjoyed it, Emma. Always my pleasure to share.

Expand full comment
Chris Anselmo's avatar

I sometimes default to humor/sarcasm, or making it seem like I am more "with it" than I am. I write a newsletter about resilience, so sometimes, instead of sharing the really difficult things in my life, I'm tempted to paper over them or not mention them at all. But then I remember it's a disservice to my readers, so I include the truth. But it's always a struggle. It's much easier to have a facade.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

Totally get it, Chris. I think I'm post "with it," and pretty much all in on reveling in my inner dork these days. ;-) And yes, so much easier to "paper over" the real stuff. I always just keep asking, to what end?

Expand full comment
Chris Anselmo's avatar

Well as a fellow dork, I can appreciate that! I enjoy your writing.

Expand full comment
Namrata Kohli's avatar

This is so beautifully written, Jonathan. Thank you for sharing such a raw, vulnerable and honest piece. I put up a front by adding badges and stars to my ‘uniform’ hoping that will impress more than the nakedness beneath. As if it’s someone else I need to impress…

Expand full comment
Jonathan Fields's avatar

I think we all have our versions of badges and stars, Namrata. Some of them literal. Followers, filters, etc. When what so many of us want and crave is realness.

Expand full comment
Mathilde's avatar

Resonated deeply. Thank you!

Expand full comment