I’ve been thinking about this so much recently! Thanks for such a great write up about this. I’ve realized I have been filtering, masking, pretending, faking so many aspects in my life…maybe even 80-90% of it. I haven’t known my true self at all, I was taught by my family being me wasn’t safe. I feel like I’m completely starting over and…that is okay!
I say be yourself. You can fool some people sometimes but sooner or later the masks, the façade must fall or will fall and people will see the real you. I don't like to be deceived and I much prefer for people to be their authentic self with their flaws (the good and the bad). than to find out that that person what not who she/ he pretended to be. It's very hurtful and dishonest. I also understand the why but I encourage people to be themselves. No need to guess. What you see is what you get. So refreshing! Thank you for sharing! Beautiful piece!
Completely agree, Yvonne. Even when we have multiple selves. The invitation is often to try to discern whether we're just showing a different, but real part of ourselves, or whether we're wearing a mask as a way to hide.
I have a feeling I was in the same room with the same teacher Jonathan. Heard similar feedback myself! I adore how you turn your experience as yoga teacher/biz owner into every day lessons. Thank you.
For me it is the balance between using my “voice and choice” instead of going with what others decide for me. Learning this was crucial to continuing with my own inner work and I feel like in the last 5-6 years I’ve just been in a much better space !
Thank you. Just so true…and maybe this also is a part of us to accept, notice, love and let be. Maybe our soul is not created to be on show as much as we may imagine. Stepping up into that role may just have taken every bit of courage in that moment that you could muster up.
Agreed, Christina, when it's a genuine part of ourselves. I think what I was feeling was more that I was donning a mask that was not just a different, more fortified but very real part of me, but rather a disguise.
Whoa. This really struck me. You were writing about me. I felt I could never show my true self, so always put on a persona when working or speaking in front of a large group. Always made jokes. I felt that nobody would want to see or hear from the authentic me. That was then. Then I turned 50 and didn't give a flying "f", then I turned 60 and REALLY didn't give a flying "f" of what anybody thought. Thank gawd for aging. ;-)
I was thinking the same thing. I remember when I was younger seeing older women act like they didn’t give a flying F. I wondered what that was really all about and I envied them, thinking I couldn’t have that until I was older. Now I think I’m getting it, and yeah, thank gawd for aging! Maybe could’ve started sooner though.
I love this "less show, more soul", but yet we've been taught to show all of our lives, school systems, religious institutions, even in the family, we are taught/expected to show up strong, stoic, so much so that we lose our sense of vulnerability. A powerful reminder to return to ourselves 🙂
So true, Samantha. Show is a big part of how we're often taught to show up. And, again, there are times it serves us, but sometimes we confuse those times with simply wanting to hide. That was my case. Working on getting better at discerning them.
A spiritual quest that has been dominant for centuries. I am quite happy not to have a stuck personality but to play the role any given situation demands. I can be this and that or that!
I sometimes default to humor/sarcasm, or making it seem like I am more "with it" than I am. I write a newsletter about resilience, so sometimes, instead of sharing the really difficult things in my life, I'm tempted to paper over them or not mention them at all. But then I remember it's a disservice to my readers, so I include the truth. But it's always a struggle. It's much easier to have a facade.
Totally get it, Chris. I think I'm post "with it," and pretty much all in on reveling in my inner dork these days. ;-) And yes, so much easier to "paper over" the real stuff. I always just keep asking, to what end?
Resonated deeply. Thank you!
Im here for your honesty.
I’m good with no show til I get the Wordle on the 2nd guess 🙄
I’ve been thinking about this so much recently! Thanks for such a great write up about this. I’ve realized I have been filtering, masking, pretending, faking so many aspects in my life…maybe even 80-90% of it. I haven’t known my true self at all, I was taught by my family being me wasn’t safe. I feel like I’m completely starting over and…that is okay!
I admire both “you”s.
Ah thanks, Gayle!
Ah Jonathan, yes! Me too, me too. Love the words. Unfolding- yes.
Unfolding is one of my favorite words!
I say be yourself. You can fool some people sometimes but sooner or later the masks, the façade must fall or will fall and people will see the real you. I don't like to be deceived and I much prefer for people to be their authentic self with their flaws (the good and the bad). than to find out that that person what not who she/ he pretended to be. It's very hurtful and dishonest. I also understand the why but I encourage people to be themselves. No need to guess. What you see is what you get. So refreshing! Thank you for sharing! Beautiful piece!
Completely agree, Yvonne. Even when we have multiple selves. The invitation is often to try to discern whether we're just showing a different, but real part of ourselves, or whether we're wearing a mask as a way to hide.
I have a feeling I was in the same room with the same teacher Jonathan. Heard similar feedback myself! I adore how you turn your experience as yoga teacher/biz owner into every day lessons. Thank you.
Could well have been, Cara. Always fun sharing my experiences, and glad when they land with some level of value.
“Inhale, I bellow, as my inner introvert goes full carny. “ oh I felt this! That moving to the other extreme so you can hide.
Right?!
For me it is the balance between using my “voice and choice” instead of going with what others decide for me. Learning this was crucial to continuing with my own inner work and I feel like in the last 5-6 years I’ve just been in a much better space !
Love that frame, Heather. Voice and choice!
Thank you. Just so true…and maybe this also is a part of us to accept, notice, love and let be. Maybe our soul is not created to be on show as much as we may imagine. Stepping up into that role may just have taken every bit of courage in that moment that you could muster up.
Agreed, Christina, when it's a genuine part of ourselves. I think what I was feeling was more that I was donning a mask that was not just a different, more fortified but very real part of me, but rather a disguise.
Whoa. This really struck me. You were writing about me. I felt I could never show my true self, so always put on a persona when working or speaking in front of a large group. Always made jokes. I felt that nobody would want to see or hear from the authentic me. That was then. Then I turned 50 and didn't give a flying "f", then I turned 60 and REALLY didn't give a flying "f" of what anybody thought. Thank gawd for aging. ;-)
So glad it resonated, Janine. And, yep, age does work it's magic in this way lol!
I was thinking the same thing. I remember when I was younger seeing older women act like they didn’t give a flying F. I wondered what that was really all about and I envied them, thinking I couldn’t have that until I was older. Now I think I’m getting it, and yeah, thank gawd for aging! Maybe could’ve started sooner though.
Yes, I agree 100 percent :-) maybe our souls are not fully develped until our 50s...lol..
I love this "less show, more soul", but yet we've been taught to show all of our lives, school systems, religious institutions, even in the family, we are taught/expected to show up strong, stoic, so much so that we lose our sense of vulnerability. A powerful reminder to return to ourselves 🙂
So true, Samantha. Show is a big part of how we're often taught to show up. And, again, there are times it serves us, but sometimes we confuse those times with simply wanting to hide. That was my case. Working on getting better at discerning them.
Beautifully written.
Until and unless I find out who the hell am I,?
A spiritual quest that has been dominant for centuries. I am quite happy not to have a stuck personality but to play the role any given situation demands. I can be this and that or that!
My core can remain a seeker! :)
Thanks, Seema. Indeed, it is the quest of our lives.
This is so beautifully expressed. It really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼
So glad you enjoyed it, Emma. Always my pleasure to share.
I sometimes default to humor/sarcasm, or making it seem like I am more "with it" than I am. I write a newsletter about resilience, so sometimes, instead of sharing the really difficult things in my life, I'm tempted to paper over them or not mention them at all. But then I remember it's a disservice to my readers, so I include the truth. But it's always a struggle. It's much easier to have a facade.
Totally get it, Chris. I think I'm post "with it," and pretty much all in on reveling in my inner dork these days. ;-) And yes, so much easier to "paper over" the real stuff. I always just keep asking, to what end?
Well as a fellow dork, I can appreciate that! I enjoy your writing.