Falling Behind in Life | A Letter From Love

Wake-Up Call #52

A year ago, my friend,

Elizabeth Gilbert

asked me to share a Letter from Love with her community.

Of course, I obliged.

I mean, Liz is awesome, and you don’t say no to love embodied.

Plus, I’d been sitting with this feeling, maybe you’ve felt it…

This notion that I’d fallen behind in my own life. I wasn’t where I thought I’d be at this age.

Maybe that would be a good topic to offer at love’s feet.

Around that time, I’d also been dancing with the idea of starting my own Substack. So I figured, “hey, why don’t I launch mine at the same time, with the intention of helping us all feel more alive, and less alone.

Liz’s invitation was the nudge I needed to make this place real.

With that, on April 21, 2024, Awake at the Wheel met the world, and my Letter from Love met Liz’s community.

Now, heading into the one-year anniversary of both, I thought I’d revisit that letter. See if Love’s words to me still resonated.

Turns out, they do.

Then, I realized, I’d never directly shared my letter with you, here, in this community. Plus, much to my amazement, over the year, more than 10,000 big hearted humans have joined the Awake at the Wheel the party (seriously, grateful and gobsmacked).

So, here it is.

My Letter from Love was to myself. But, really, it’s also to anyone feeling like they’re perpetually falling behind in their own life.

Following Liz’s guidance, I started with the same question—”Dear Love, what would you have me know today?”—then addressed myself with a meaningful term of endearment.

Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

Jonner (my childhood nickname),

I know this keeps coming up for you.

You keep feeling like you’ve fallen behind in your own life. You’re not where you were “supposed” to be by now.

But what does that even mean? Seriously, falling behind on what?

The delusional teenage vision of how your life would unfold, based on a dataset of adolescent duh? The one that had you flush with gobs of money and status and toys, and retiring at the ancient age of 45?

Or was it the expectations handed down by colleagues during that weird stint in the law, chasing partnership before your body took you down and gave you the ultimate course correction?

Or maybe it was that #winning life where every book, every company, everything you touched turned to gold and you’d finally “made it”?

I know your path hasn’t been what you expected. And, God willing, with enough protein and plants and pixie dust, it’s far from over.

But, boychik, look where it’s landed you.

Today.

In this moment, when you’re supposedly behind on the dream of what should’ve been.

How can the feeling of your daughter’s arm, woven through your elbow as you walk side by side, knowing how deeply connected you are, and what an incredible woman she’s become, be anything but right for this moment of your life?

How can the warmth of your wife’s head on your chest as you stroke her hair in bed for the ten-thousandth time in 30+ years be anything but right for this moment of your life?

How can a body that’s taken its hits, but is still game to support nearly any dream you envision, and lets you hike for hours a week in the Rockies, be anything but right for this moment?

How can being held by friends who’d get on a plane from the other side of the world if you needed them be anything but right for this moment?

How can the body of work that’s poured through you, and the difference it’s made, be anything but right for this moment of life?

Sure, it’s not the path you thought you’d take. Nor the things you started out measuring. Others have more money, status, and stuff, and always will.

But don’t you see?

The dream of the life you’ve fallen behind on was measured by things you didn’t yet know barely mattered, and devoid of things that matter beyond measure.

You are and have always been exactly where you need to be: Here. Now. Seen. Held. Capable. Well. And loved.

Your only job is to let yourself be present to what is, to keep showing up, and to stop fretting about a could’ve been that was never meant to be.

Seriously, chill. Life is good, if you’d just let it be.

Really helped me to re-read this a year after writing it.

Maybe you’ve been grappling with similar feelings. If so, I hope it helps you be a bit kinder to yourself, and gentler with the state of your being.

Re-reading and sharing my Letter from Love has also helped me notice, acknowledge, and embrace how much life-shifting, big and small, has unfolded over the last year.

I’ll be sharing a ton more about that in next week’s in-depth, 6-month update on my 2x20 project, accompanied by an expansive and deeply-personal podcast episode.

Be sure you’re subscribed to Awake at the Wheel, so you don’t miss it. And, might as well follow Good Life Project, too, so you can go way deeper into the experiments and awakenings with me next week on the podcast.

With a whole lotta love & gratitude,

Jonathan

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Wake-Up Call #52 | Write Your Own Letter From Love

This week, I’m inviting you to craft your own Letter From Love.

To hear what this is all about, where it came from, how powerful it can be, and get specific instructions on how to do it, check out my conversation with Liz on the Good Life Project podcast. You can play it below, or here is a link to play in your favorite podcast platform.

Then, if you feel inspired, take some time to write your own.

You don’t need to share it with anyone. Write it to, and for, yourself.

Then, if you’re inclined, share how the experience was in the comments.

Or, just share your experience of the topic of my Letter from Love, that nagging feeling that you’re falling behind in your own life.